You work out of a Hotel?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
