Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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