3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
