She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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