omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My balls are so social today.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
