I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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