Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You can't motorboat a personality
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
