i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
