Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
