I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ok first of all what the fuck
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
