Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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