I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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