He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
