DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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