Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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