PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
