okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
