it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
