Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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