Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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