There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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