What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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