you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
