I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
