Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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