and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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