drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think we might need a safe word for this...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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