babies were throwing up all over the place
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
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we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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