I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize