It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize