Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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