That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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