I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I stole a fireplace last night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize