uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
