it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
