I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
