ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
