hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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