yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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