I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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