My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
