So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
