There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
