I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
