I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
