Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
