It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
send nudes
from the living room?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
