I don't think brook has ever known best
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
