idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
