Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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