What a fucking waste of an outfit
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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