hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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