And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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