Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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