normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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