1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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