she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
