A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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