thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
