I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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