Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize