I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
