Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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