That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
It's rum buckets o'clock
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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